INFJs are intelligent, so why do we do this?
I've met other INFJs in real life due to my work, but I've also met INFJs through my involvement in various "causes." What's an INFJ without a cause? A dissatisfied, unfulfilled, and typically sad INFJ. We need to feel like we're making a difference and like we're working toward something meaningful.
The INFJ women I've met in real life are intelligent people. I'll admit it, I feel fairrrrrrly intelligent—most of the time anyway. We love to learn, research, and discover things. Let's be honest here: we can typically see the best way to do something. Of course we're not always right, but we might think we are... (that's a story for another day!)
So when we're working toward whatever particular cause that has caught our attention, why is it that we somehow lose our intelligence? Let me explain...
Let's say you're working on your cause du jour and here's how it plays out:
Oh! There's so much I can help with here.
This is amazing. I love it. I feel so useful!
Wow. This is a lot of work.
It's ok, it's ok. I want to do this.
One more thing? Ok, sure! Sign me up!
Phew, I'm tired, but I'm making a difference!
No one will do that? Ok, I will. It's such a good cause. There's so much work to be done.
And that? Yes, I'll do that, too.
And well, this needs to be done, too, soooo...let me see...ok, I'll just make it work.
I'm so tired. But this thing...it's SO important. I'll just keep going...
So, so tired.
I'm not sure if I can do this anymore.
I'm so overwhelmed.
Make it stop.
(loses significant time due to recovery needed after hitting a wall)
I know, I've been there, too. We're intelligent people. We know what's going to happen.
I bet you've been through this cycle on more than one occasion with the same results each time. We KNOW the results of giving too much. Of caring so much—for other people.
We can't get different results without doing something different. Your desire to have a cause and to do something meaningful is not going to go away, so what can you do?
You can prioritize self-care.
Even when you could do one. more. thing.
Even when there's no one else to step up.
Even when you feel people need you or what you can give.
And get this—EVEN IF YOU DON'T FEEL LIKE YOU'RE WORTH IT.
Or deserve it. Or want to take time for it.
Caring for yourself will help you give more in the long run. It will remind you that you have value, even when you're not giving, doing, or helping.
I'm hereby issuing a challenge. It's The INFJ Life official I Matter Challenge...or something. I don't know. I'm still working on a catchy title. :)
The challenge is to choose a self-care activity every day for the next 30 days. You read that right: every day. Next, plan it out. Go ahead. Get out your calendar. I'll wait...
Choose something you can do for yourself every day. It can be as simple as pausing at lunch to do some deep breathing. Maybe you want to end the day with a relaxing bath. Maybe take the day off. Or buy that new outfit. Get your hair done. Whatever. Spend time on that hobby you keep putting aside. The point is to actively do something for yourself.
At the start of each week, or the beginning of every day, make a conscious choice to care for yourself.
What do you think? Want to commit with me? I'm going to keep track of what I do each day. How about you?
If you want to share how you'll take care of yourself over the next month, feel free to comment below.