Someone recently asked, "How can I stop being INFJ?"
I felt sad.
Have you ever wished you could stop being an INFJ?
There's so much sadness wrapped up in that question, and it breaks my heart. It shows a deep unhappiness with who they are.
Yes, having an INFJ personality can be difficult. And lonely. And frustrating. I know you're aware of this. But, BUT, there's so much goodness about you because of the way you see and interact with the world! You must remind yourself of this. What's something you love about your personality?
Here's a confession:
I've broken down in tears on more than one occasion when asked what I love about myself. I've lived in the darkest depths of self-loathing. I hope you're not living there. If so, please reach out for help. Call someone. Make that appointment with a therapist. Admit you need help pulling yourself up.
I cannot assume to know this person's state of mind. However, the question itself suggests they don't like who they are. I think about all the gifts they're not able to give to their family and friends because of their lack of self-love. They ask, "How can I stop being who I am?" They declare, "I don't like this person." I grieve for the untrue things they believe. I'm saddened that the world is missing out on the gift of a healthy INFJ.
When Knowing Your Personality Profile is a Bad Thing
Asking how you can stop being an INFJ suggests you're defined by the your personality type. That's just not true! When you're down on yourself, it can be easy to believe that lie.
Don't ever put yourself in an INFJ-sized box! Calling yourself an INFJ doesn't mean your every move, thought, or action is predictable based on the bullet points within your personality profile.
It does mean that you have tendencies toward certain behaviors and thoughts.
It doesn't mean you're trapped.
It doesn't mean you're a robot with only one possible output.
It doesn't mean you can't work on the parts of your personality that bother you.
If you believe you can't change because of those four little letters, then knowing your personality profile is actually a bad thing.
Knowing your personality type doesn't define you.
Don’t let knowing that you have an INFJ personality limit you. It doesn't determine what you can do or accomplish. It's a tool to help you understand your strengths and potential weaknesses. It shows you why you relate, or do not relate, to others. It helps you know and understand yourself. It uncovers your motivation. It can even help you love yourself more.
Now, remember that thing you thought about earlier? The thing you love about your personality? Use it to start a list of things you love about yourself. Keep it close by and look at it often, especially when you find yourself in a downward spiral.
Take time for some self-care this week!
You are enough!