Are you stuck? An INFJ perspective (Part 1)


Do you want more in your life but feel stuck?

The dictionary defines stuck as: 1. Trapped and unable to move, or 2. Unable to progress.

So before we move on, I want to ask you: are you really unable to move? Unable to progress? Or, is it that you aren't yet at the place you think you should be? Is it that you see your present circumstances and think it should be different? 

As an INFJ, you have an idealistic view of how the world should be. Mine has to do with people loving each other, caring for one another, and respecting each other. Is that too much to ask?!? I mean really. :) 

You also have really high expectations for yourself. You want to make a difference. You want to help people. And you want to do it in BIG, impactful ways. 

Your idealism is not bad.
Your high expectations are not bad.

When you combine these two things, it creates a ton of pressure and a constant feeling of never doing enough. No matter what's happening in your life in the present, you have your mind on the potential of the future.

This continuous dissatisfaction with the present leads to a feeling of being stuck. You feel stuck because you're not where you want to be—where you think you should  be. You can imagine a future where things are so much more—so much better—than they are right now. As soon as you do something you know exactly what you want to improve. You don't revel in your accomplishments.

The struggle is real.

There's a real reason you struggle with the present and feeling stuck. It's because of your extraverted sensing (Se)—your least developed cognitive function. Extraverted sensing is about awareness of the present moment through your senses.

INFJ Cognitive Functions.png

Add your inferior Se to your idealism and of course you have a constant focus on the future! Of course you have difficulty accepting where you are in the present! So instead of being unable to progress, could it be that you're unable to accept where you are?

So maybe for us INFJs, feeling stuck really means a struggle with being in the present moment.

Instead of saying, "I'm stuck," try, "I am in the present moment." 

This simple change of phrase can release some of your self-judgment about where you should be. As trite as it may sound, you're actually the only place you can be. I know reading the phrase probably causes immediate internal objections and judgment-filled thoughts. There's nothing wrong with being in the present moment if that's the only place you can be. Release your judgment of where you should be. Remember, should is could with shame attached.

Nothing you've done up to this point is a waste. Every step brought you to the present. 

Take a look at Part 2 here »