The secret sauce to enjoying the holidays the INFJ way

INFJ Secret Sauce

What's your take on the holiday season? Love it? Hate it? Depends on the year? The holidays have this way of magnifying all the issues we see and experience in our lives, especially as INFJs.

Today I want to share an underutilized recipe for enjoying this time of year. But first, let's call on your idealism to create a beautiful holiday scene.

If you could envision the perfect holiday season, what would that look like to you? Go ahead. Close your eyes if you want and get that idealistic INFJ vision in your mind. Oh, wait. You need your eyes for the next few sentences. :) Now, use all of your senses to develop this vision further as you consider the following. I encourage you to write these things down to prepare for the second half of this exercise.

What do you see?

What do you smell?

What do you taste?

What do you touch?

What do you hear?


Now, go back through the list of things you just identified in your vision of the perfect holiday season. Which things do you have control over? Which things do you feel little to no control over? If one of the things that would make your holiday season perfect is that your Aunt Shirley doesn't interrogate you about your personal life, you may feel very little control over this experience. You know that whatever you say, she's not going to get it. Is it your mom questioning (for the hundredth time) what you choose to eat or not eat? Maybe it's your sister asking why you're always so sensitive. Ugh. 

As an INFJ, I know you've experienced the pain of feeling misunderstood. The holidays can exacerbate this and lead to a deep feeling of loneliness, even if we happen to have family and/or friends around us. So I ask you, how can you shift your perspective on the things you have very little control over? What self-care activities do you want to incorporate to make sure you have the emotional and physical energy you need?

If you're feeling alone this holiday season, how can you change that around for yourself? Is there somewhere you can volunteer to be with others during this time? Maybe seek out (or start) an introvert or INFJ MeetUp in your local area? 

So what's the recipe for enjoying the holiday season? 

1 part incorporating activities you can control that make you happy
1 part mindset shift for activities/events/people you cannot control
1 dash patience
Covered generously with heaps of self-love and acceptance

Easy, right? Wellllll...that's why I called it "underutilized" at the start of this letter. Over the next several weeks (until the end of the year), I'll share a series of little to big mindset shifts to help you through this potentially beautiful, yet difficult, time of year.

In The INFJ Life, a weekly email for INFJ women, I'll share one key way to help you see things from a new perspective each week until the end of the year. They'll work for this time of year, or any really. Think of them as tools in your toolbox. You won't use all of them at the same time, and sometimes you might need a little practice to effectively use each one. If you don't want to miss any, click over here to sign up for this weekly email.

Remember that you are already enough. Even if Aunt Shirley, your sister, your mom, or anyone else expects something different. You are beautifully and wonderfully made.