INFJs are interested in becoming the best version of themselves. This makes us interested in things like psychology, self-development books and courses, coaching, and therapy. We're also a personality type that has idealistic tendencies. That means we may idealize the best version of ourselves. We may forget that it's about becoming and not arriving. Acceptance of this journey, complete with pit stops, detours, traffic jams, and roadblocks, is a sign of a healthy INFJ. It's also a sign that she is continually becoming the best version of herself, even if she doesn't feel like it on a day-by-day basis.
What are some other signs of a healthy INFJ who is on this path of becoming their best self? What do you think? Before you read the ideas I share below, I encourage you to take a few minutes to brainstorm a list of characteristics that you feel would make you the best version of yourself. What are some signs that you're healthy? Once you have an idea of your own list, take a look at the signs of a healthy INFJ woman I share below. See if there are any similarities or if any new insights come to mind.
7 Signs of a Healthy INFJ Woman
1. She manages conflict in her life.
A healthy INFJ will deal with the conflict in her life. That doesn't mean she'll love conflict, or even like it. It does mean she's motivated to find a solution to conflict, even when it feels uncomfortable. Even though the conflicts may not always turn out the way she had hoped, she knows that the process of working toward a solution can bring her a deeper understanding of others—and possibly a deeper connection, too.
2. She regularly takes time for self-care.
Many INFJs are focused on other people and how they can help them. This can be a motivating factor for both their personal and professional lives. A healthy INFJ will balance this care and concern for others with a care and concern for herself. She knows that she must take care of herself in order to keep going. Whether it's a few deep breaths throughout the day or a mini-vacation, she regularly plans self-care activities that help her recharge and re-energize.
3. She sets boundaries to separate herself from the emotions of others.
INFJs often have high levels of empathy. This brings a susceptibility to the emotions of others. A healthy INFJ will regularly check in with herself to identify and process her own emotions. She'll practice setting emotional and physical boundaries that help her to separate herself from the impact of other people's emotions. This may include setting time limits for conversations or boundaries with certain relationships that tend to be draining.
4. She has a vision for the future.
INFJs are very future-oriented. A healthy INFJ will have a vision for the future based on an insight she has about how the world could be. This may include an idea she wants to share, a new perspective, or a new way of helping others. Her vision may relate to starting a business, writing a book, starting a family, or volunteering in an organization she's passionate about. All INFJs visions look different, but there's a seed of something greater inside her that she feels compelled to nurture and grow.
5. She accepts herself.
A healthy INFJ woman will remind herself that her journey through life is about becoming and not arriving. She meets the detours, roadblocks, and traffic jams on her journey with grace toward herself and others. This may include what she sees as her own mistakes or failures or those of others. As a healthy INFJ, she may eagerly await the ideal version of herself, but she doesn't see that version as the only acceptable standard. She is kind to herself, and she knows that she's valuable and worthy just as she is today.
6. She acknowledges and celebrates her accomplishments.
Having an idealistic, future-focused personality type may cause an INFJ woman to keep her focus on the next thing. This can make it difficult to recognize all she has accomplished. A healthy INFJ will regularly pause and reflect on where she's come from and all she's done in her life. She'll celebrate those things and reflect on the fulfillment they provide. By tracking those accomplishments, she'll find fuel for her journey.
7. She doesn't take herself, others, or life too seriously.
A healthy INFJ can look at her (personally-defined) shortcomings through a lens of compassion. She has a serious side, but it's balanced with an ability see and experience joy. She knows that there's a time for all of the emotions—including joy and happiness. She has the ability to use her wit to bring joy and happiness to her own life as well as the lives of others.
So what do you think? How did your list compare? What new ideas came to you as you read this list? If you'd like to share your own list, I'm just on the other side of the reply button.
A few last words:
INFJs prefer closure, which means we may want to check these things off a list once we feel we've accomplished them. Self-acceptance? Check. Vision for the future? Check. These items aren't traits that we check off a list and never have to revisit. Even if you struggle with one (or more) at times, it doesn't mean you're unhealthy. Remember—it's not about arriving. It's about becoming.
Comment below to share your list of signs that you’re a healthy INFJ.