Are you really stuck, INFJ? Or is it something else?
Stuck. That's a word I hear from a lot of INFJ women. It's not a pleasant feeling, is it? It's completely understandable to feel stuck if you look around at your situation and think that you don't see any progress. It's not a wrong way to feel. Feelings are not right or wrong. They just...are. And they're a direct result of how you think about things.
So, are you interested in considering a new way to think about being stuck? If so, I have you covered.
Let's start with the literal definition. The word "stuck" means unable to move from a particular position. Do you notice anything about that definition right off the bat? Anything that might seem limiting?
I see the word "unable." This is the kind of word I've trained myself to notice in my thoughts and words. I also watch for it in my conversations with my INFJ coaching clients. Unable means not able. Cannot. Can't. If we tell ourselves that we "can't" do something, we won't be able to do it. It becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.
You'll remain stuck.
➤ I can't do this. (You're right. Can't keeps you stuck.)
➤ The world will never change. (Nope, it won't...you have a built-in filter that assures it'll always look the same.)
➤ I'll never find a job/career/vision/purpose that makes me happy. (Bingo. You're right again! Never keeps you stuck.)
These thoughts exhibit the kind of energy that limits you from moving forward. They actually keep you from reaching your potential. Let that sink in for a moment. No one ever accomplished anything with complete faith in the belief that they "can't."
If you're curious about the impact of these thoughts, read this. And, if you'd like to know how these thoughts are impacting you, I offer an assessment that does just that. It also gives you a new framework for changing your old thought patterns. If you'd like to make serious changes in how you think, feel, and respond to situations in your life, I'd love to take you through that assessment and debrief. It provides a tool to make massive changes in your life.
Ok, so you feel stuck. We know it's not right or wrong to feel that way, but we also know that you could be keeping yourself right where you are with these thoughts. You might remain stuck until someone or something forces you to see a new option.
But, what if you could offer yourself other options without waiting for someone else to pave a new, "non-stuck" path for you? That's what the knowledge from that assessment I mentioned earlier does. For right now, though, are you willing to entertain the possibility that there's something else going on when you feel stuck?
Pause for a minute and consider other possibilities of why you might feel stuck as an INFJ.
Got a few ideas in your mind?
Let's look at a few possibilities for alternate realities.
1. Could it be...that you don't recognize your progress?
I write about this a lot, so I hope you're not tired of hearing it yet if you've been with me for awhile. :-) I'll keep talking about it since I've heard from my coaching clients that there can be a magic moment when things they've heard (and never really processed) suddenly make sense. Everything falls into place, and the fog falls away. Plus, this is something INFJs regularly dismiss or ignore.
So, could it be that you actually have made progress, but you don't feel it's good enough? What did it take to get to this point? Maybe you consider everything you've done so far a wrong turn that led you back to the same spot on the road. Yet you've experienced and know things that you wouldn't have if you didn't make those detours. Progress is rarely a linear journey.
2. Could it be...that the future is not here yet?
Guess what? The future will always be the future. And you're wired to focus more on that than the present. When the future becomes the present, you'll focus on the new "future." So instead of telling yourself that you're stuck, try this instead: "I'm in the present reality." There's nothing wrong with being in the present...because that's the only place you can be. Even if you don't want to be in the present reality, what can you appreciate about where you are (and where you've come from...see #1)?
3. Could it be...that you need a break?
Are you standing so close to the wall that you can only see the bumps, cracks, and texture of the wall? Those are the details, my friend. Focusing on the details is one thing that causes stress for us as INFJs.
What would it look like to take a break and step back from the wall for a better look at the big picture? It might look like taking a break from your goal, project, or vision. Does that mean you're giving up? Does that mean you're being lazy? Does that mean you're stuck because you're not moving forward? NO to all of those. Taking a break can be a step in your overall action plan, too. Give yourself permission to take time off. Go for a walk. Read about something different for once. And breeeeathe. In. Out. You got this.
If you feel stuck, which of these might be true for you? What are some other alternate realities that might be true for you? You can share these with me by replying below.